Sunday, August 01, 2004


THis is stupid.....
It’s official I am really anxious in social situations…..
It didn’t used to be like this, then high school hit, then Belgium hit—I haven’t ever recovered. I used to be a lot more confident—but then I was doing things I loved like drama. I was good at it, I had other drama nerds as friends, I was comfortable. Then something told me I had to do these other things so I could get into a good college etc. and I started hanging out with cooler people, and I didn’t like it. It wasn’t till my Jr year when I started doing plays again that I felt good about social things. Then there was Belgium… and I didn’t speak the language at first so I always felt dumb. Now I have to feel really comfortable with the people I am around or I am just in a fret when I leave the situation…. I am in a fret now… it’s hard to calm down, I can’t focus and it sux. There isn’t anything I can do about it though really. It will hopefully slowly go away…. And it’s not like I can just pick up drama again to make me feel better either b/c here everyone is way better at it that I am L sorry this is kinda pessimistic… I am just really anxious right now.

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